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The Gray Rock Method is a Mental Model — 14 Comments

  1. yes, the situation in DC is incredibly disheartening, re: the mentality of our country. I think most of those voters are just clueless, don’t know what they are looking at. for example my BIL loves the president. yet I can’t even talk to him about his brother or mother because of how badly they abused him: he gets triggered. he has normal empathy and is very traumatized, yet he is still blind to these people, he doesn’t understand how to spot them. he grasps what I have told him about his brother and mother and agrees it is the best explanation, but cannot generalize it. people cannot look at the personality characteristics and recognize what it implies about a person’s basic character.
    I do think that the spath population could be as high as 10%. I wish that Dr. Kiehl would start looking at the spaths that can function in society without ending up in prison.

    I think I am very glad that I didn’t figure it out until he was out of my house. I was terrified enough at that point, but if he was still there, I think I would have been paralyzed with fear, to understand how his mind was working. you are very brave. very resourceful. an unrecognized hero.

  2. Mnav,

    That is a very sweet thing to say. Yes, I remember how terrified I was to learn what he really was capable of. I left in the middle of the night with everything I could pack into my little car.

    As for your BIL, you’d be surprised how many people who are themselves disordered, were also abused. Not all, but many.

    I know one who was targeted by a sociopath. Under his guidance, she became worse, more abusive and cruel than before. After he discarded her, she was extremely traumatized. Later, she reverted back to being as abusive as she was with him. She was always that way, he just brought it out in her more.

    But until the point where they decide to turn on you, they use the pity ploy to keep your sympathy and appear to have normal empathy. I fell for it with this woman. I thought she had seen the light when she got discarded. She certainly professed to. It was a play for my sympathy. We have to remember look for behavior that is inconsistent with the person you believe you know. The way they vote and the politics they profess can be a BIG red flag. Not that you have to cut off contact with everyone who votes differently from you but you should definitely maintain very firm boundaries on your emotions/pearls.

  3. yeah, I should have run screaming when I found out he liked Bush. and how ironic, I would take Bush back in a heartbeat now.

    and yes, I have seen that pity ploy in action, and the ploy of spiritual awakening. mine was so skillful. now I have to deal with his mother who is trustee of my kids’ inheritance, and she believed all of his lies. so now she won’t let my kids visit her because she hates me. when all I did was appropriately defend myself and my kids from his insanity. it’s like being in a cult, and who ever leaves the cult is shunned, even after the cult leader is gone. I know if I told her the truth all it would do is break her heart and make her hate me more.

  4. My Psychopath pretended to be a liberal, guitar-playing hippie when we met. But we never discussed politics or religion. Then decades later, he began listening to “Hot-Talk” radio. By that time, I just didn’t even know what to think about him anymore. When Bush got elected I wanted to cry, both times. Now we find out that Bush wanted to cry when Trump got elected. Now the tables are turned and Bush knows how WE felt.

    So there is justice in the universe. You just have to know how to look for it.

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