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Scandal Must Come — 211 Comments

  1. Truth and Dorothy,
    Betrayal is an attempt to disconnect a person from their soul by disconnecting their ability to trust humanity. Then they continue to live but it is a void existence, just like the spath lives. It may be that it is worse than disconnecting a person from their body.

    That’s why, when I found out that the spath wanted me to commit suicide, I was MORE horrified than if I had found out that he wanted the pleasure of killing me, physically, himself. The power trip of making someone kill themselves is bigger than just to shoot them. I know that this is what the spath wanted. He wanted to completely own my reality.

    Yesterday, I rented the first season of the TVshow, Dexter. It’s a fiction about a supposed socialized psychopath who satisfies his bloodlust by only killing other serial killers.
    hogwash.

    I’ll probably rent a few more episodes, but this is what is disappointing about the fictionalized spath heroes. They are portrayed as simply having a compulsion to kill. But that isn’t what makes a spath at all. A spath wants to take SOULS, not bodies. Bodies sometimes get killed in the process, but possession of a soul is what he really wants. When he kills, it’s the moment right before he kills, when the victim realizes that he’s been betrayed — that he trusted the wrong person — that is what the psychopath wants.

    That’s why a spath doesn’t have to kill, he can murder a soul slowly over decades. He can take his time and enjoy the long river of lies that lead his victim to lose contact with reality.

    There was a line in one episode, in Dexter’s voice over, where he says that murder disconnects the murderer from humanity. I suppose that may be true but it seems like they must’ve been disconnected already to commit murder.

    The Hannibal Lector series has a similar premise: Hannibal only kills people he finds offensive and boorish. The victims all turn out to be people who were doing heinous things themselves. Again, hogwash.

    The spath prefers to let those types live to propagate evil. It’s the innocent whose existence he can’t abide.

    I don’t know if these “types” of psychopaths, who only kill “bad” people, really exist. I’ve never met one. The psychological profile makes no sense IMO.

    • Skylar, the thing i still can’t come to terms with is the covert nature of my particular situation. I’t so different than yours or truthy’s or Oxy’s. NOTHING like……….he cheated on me, stole from me, hit me, raped me, tried to kill me,,,,,,,nothing in my face obvious but I feel like all of those things were done to me. I feel like the mental torture (for me) of not knowing the absolute truth of everything that I suspect is true, based on all the subtle hints and tells and experiences that I can barely even explain……….it all leaves me afraid that I’m paranoid, wrong, disordered in some way……holy carp. It’s rarely out of my mind. I’ve said some horrible things about him, I’ve said he’s a psychopath and I suspect that he may even be worse then I can comprehend but I don’t KNOW any of it for sure.
      You KNOW! Truthy KNOWS! Oxy KNOWS! I THINK my suspicions are true but I don’t KNOW! It’s maddening!
      I know I keep going back to this and i’m sorry I do but I just can’t snap out of this mental “obsession”. I have NEVER had something take over my thinking like this. It’s like he poluted my brain. like he crawled inside my brain and left all these questions and all these doubts that undermine my ability to trust my self and my perceptions.

      • Dorothy,
        we were all betrayed. I didn’t know anything until 25 years later. if you want to wait for 25 years, you will get your answers. But a better method is to learn from others experiences. They ARE all alike. You know that you will get more of the same, second verse, a little bit worse.

        • Skylar,,,,,,,no, I do not want to go back for more just to PROVE it all. I know he is someone i have no business being with, if only because of my own issues and his inability to be compassionate and empathetic.
          OMG! This book, Stalking The Soul………THIS is hitting the nail on the head. It talks a LOT about the more insidious methods that are used in emotional abuse and i’m really seeing my situation in the book. Numero uno is the absence of real communication that was a frustration for me the entire time. He was upset because there was always something wrong and I wasn’t happy……my position was, there’s always something wrong because we don’t talk about the things that are wrong in any kind of meaningful way and therefor they never get resolved. It just ends up being “second verse, a little bit louder a little bit worse”! But of course that was put on me because i wasn’t happy. So I felt like I was wrong for being so “difficult” and like i was just hard to please BUT, wait a minute!, These are not huge things I’m asking for……they are normal things that a woman would expect from a man who supposedly loves her, but he says he loves me, over and over and over……but, but, but……..I literally drowned in that back and forth mental swamp. And I can all but guarantee that the things he was withholding, not meeting my needs, etc…..were done knowingly and intentionally. That’s what I mean by the “tells”.
          So no Sky, I do not want to wait 25 years. I guess the source of angst for me is not knowing the unknowable. It’s a conundrum.

          • Dorothy,
            you do know. Your emotions told you that he was bad for you. I remember that from my own experience. Within months of meeting him, I was crying and telling him that he was bad for me. I told him that we couldn’t be together because it was bad for both of us. But still, it took 25 more years to get the heck away from him. I knew. You know. The details don’t matter because they are all the same. If the label “psychopath” is too hard for you to use, then call him an abuser. You know you were emotionally abused and you know it only gets worse, right?

    • Skylar, that is so true that psychopaths aim to try to suicide their victims, or if they murder them they want it to “appear” it was a suicide – they want the victim to act out their own self-murder for them too! Gee, you want fries with that? LOL! The types of suicide/murder they want to engineer are also very symbolic. Just turn the mirror on them and it all makes sense. Whatever garbage Hollywood is vomiting out about psychopaths has an agenda, no doubt and is geared toward brainwashing and is of course all about THEM and their attention-seeking BS.

      • FRIES!
        ROTFLMAO!

        Yeah, AncientHeart, the hollywood-spath does smell of an agenda doesn’t it? Your spath-radar is very good.

        In these portrayals, the spath always has a good reason for killing. The murder victim is always guilty of something. In fact, the murder victims, were serial killers too.

        Nice Girardian twist there. That’s the hook. The audience approves of the killing because the victim deserved it. So by watching and approving, we have become just like the serial killer spath/hero, when we rationalize a murder. Of course they don’t come right out and tell us that. Instead they lead us down the slippery slope in a hall of mirrors.

        That’s the part about the hollywood-spath that really does reflect reality.

  2. Sky, I totally agree with you, there are truly no “socialized” psychopaths, no matter how “successful” they are in business or how high they climb on the social ladder, by stepping on other people’s backs. We’ve seen examples of them in high political office, and it shall always be this way because those that “appear” socialized are far from socialized and they are just careful to keep up their masks a bit better than the guy who knocks over liquor stores and kills the clerk.

    Unfortunately, many times we encounter these people in politics, work situations, and as neighbors. Truthy is right the best we can do is avoid them AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AT THE FIRST SIGN THAT THEY ARE MALICIOUS.

    • Oxy,
      speaking of socialized spaths:
      http://www.boiseweekly.com/CityDesk/archives/2013/07/03/idaho-state-police-asked-to-probe-suicide-latah-county-facebook-flap

      Cops on facebook bullied a kid into suicide.

      Gosh this feels so familiar…I remember cops calling me demanding I show up so they could harass me more, and telling me I was wasting tax payer money by wasting their time. Then when I made contact with the Sheriff, ON MY TERMS when he was having a community meeting, I asked him about it and he said it was “just a joke.”

      • Skylar, that is a college town, so not much happens there. I’m sure the local taxpayers are really happy about how their dollars are being spent on what appears to be little more than a day care center for grown up bullies. None of those cops would survive a week in West Oakland. Guaranteed.

      • Yea, I read that article sky and it makes me sick. If the guy had been a bank robber I can see putting him on the “10 most wanted” list…but not for the crimes he was convicted off or sought for.

        Did you read the cop in NM that is being tried for killing his wife and trying to make it look like suicide and his detective buddies flushed evidence at the scene.??? Yep, cops can be psychopaths too. Power and control.

  3. AncientHeart, I identify with the whole connection with Nature, even the carnivores’ actions. Nature makes SENSE to me – there is a predetermined perfection in the organized chaos of Nature. Stars and galaxies are born, die, and re-purposed, and so goes it down to microorganisms. Everything has a cycle and a purpose. It appears chaotic because some things aren’t easily explained, but this is an interesting fact that I only just learned about a certain species of owl: I often hear hoot owls in November and December – they’re discussing their territories and calling for their mates to reproduce in the very dead of winter. Why would that be? Their hatchlings are the first of the year because, as daylight begins to increase after the winter solstice, the rodents and smaller animals being to venture forth in anticipation of the arrival of Spring. There is a food source available to the owls to feed to their offspring.

    Same goes with plants. Jewel weed has phenomenal properties to treat itches and inflammation from bug bites and poison ivy – I know this from personal experience. So, the plants are at their maturity when poison ivy is at ITS maturity and biting insects are moving in groups and herds. Blackberries come into season as Cardinal birds are feeding THEIR hatchlings.

    Carnivores and carrion feeders are necessary, otherwise the planet would be overrun with creatures and the natural resources would not be able to regenerate (like grasslands, forests, etc.). Without carrion feeders, there would be NO rich soil for flora and fauna, and there would only be heaps and heaps of remains. The planet has a precise and precarious balance that is so finely tuned that we really cannot comprehend how fragile all ecosystems truly are.

    There are also “reasons” that spaths exist, even though I may not be able (or, willing) to accept them. In my own personal experiences, I NEEDED to learn some very important aspects of my Self (Self = soul). Without these cruel, hard, and seemingly insurmountable lessons, I would STILL be a victim – I would STILL be abused – I would STILL be an easy, easy target without any ability to reach out to another human being in desperate need who is living the same experiences. So, having typed that, I don’t have to “like” the fact that I needed to learn hard lessons – I’m not obligated OR mandated to “like” them. But, the lessons are truthful and cannot be disputed OR re-negotiated into a more comfortable set of facts. They are what they are.

    I identify with this organized chaos, and it makes sense to me. I don’t adhere to ANY doctrines that don’t make sense, anymore. The requirement that human beings experience endless suffering as a cultural and societal mandate in order to secure a prime seat in Heaven does NOT make sense to me, one iota. I’ve created a lot of my own suffering through bad choices – by trusting people who didn’t really EARN that trust. I’m NOT saying that I deserved what was done to me by numerous human predators – this is not what I’m trying to convey, at all. What I’m attempting to describe is that my own vulnerabilities and my own inability to RESOLVE those core-issues gave every human predator an in-road to take me apart in whatever way suited their needs.

    Today, it’s a completely different story. I’m NOT accepting “bad” behaviors from ANYONE because I don’t have to. I’m not obligated to. I’m not mandated to tolerate ANYTHING in order to be a “good” or “nice” person. It is NOT “mean” to identify a potential threat and walk away from it, regardless of whom it might be. I think this is what I am striving for – the self-sufficiency and self-validation to pick, choose, and walk away from people according to COMMON SENSE, rather than “feelings” that are a result of core-issues and flawed beliefs. 😉

    • Truthspeak, my own personal feeling is that there is nothing natural whatsoever about psychopaths. I refuse to fit them into the big picture as anything belonging to nature, to me they are nature’s antithesis and their only “value” in the bigger scheme of things is as compost. 🙂

      Your vulnerabilities are invaluable, Truthspeak, they are your humanity, which psychopaths want to feed on and destroy. Rather than “work” on them, I would say do whatever you need to do to protect those vulnerabilities, those sensitivities, because they are very precious.

      I found what so far is a neat book called “Your Perfect Right,” which was written in the 70’s (second hand stores turn up some neat old books!) and it’s all about assertiveness and protecting that healthy core self – it was written by Robert Alberti Ph.D. and Michael Emmon Ph.D.

      Psychopaths are the opposite, they have no central core, no “I” to assert itself as well as respect other “I’s” so they play both extremes of passive-aggressive which are on either “side” of the balanced assertive person who possesses a core self, who is a self-actualizing individual, and psychopaths literally eat away at and destroy that core.

      This core self, this center, contains both our sensitive vulnerable nature, our innocence, as well as our protective nature of that core, like a mother and child living in the center or nucleus of the self is how I picture it. And you are both the child and the protector of the child in that center.

      The reason why psychopaths devastate victims the way they do is because they are out to destroy both mother and child in that nucleus, that core, of their target. That is our very being, our primal core! It also represents to me the foundation of creation itself and the spiritual self.

      Your vulnerabilities are part of that core, and deserve all the protection you can learn to give them, because your innocence lies there. Use whatever tools you have that work to protect that core, whether it be common sense, hunches, sensations. Anything it takes. Protecting you is what matters.

      Our “civilization” in my opinion has rotted at its core, it is shaming, patriarchal, nature hating, woman hating, child hating, and the species itself is homicidal/suicidal and has been for who knows how long. We haven’t been on the planet that long, and my hunch is that unless there’s a “pole flip” and homo sapiens revert to a matriarchal culture which is in alignment with nature’s principles, we’re all going to fry and take down everything else unless nature steps in and literally flips the Earth’s poles, which she may well decide to do when she has had enough!

      • AncientHeart, I appreciate your very kind and encouraging words, and I can finally respond to a specific post!

        I don’t believe that I have any innocence left. I’m doing some inner-child work in therapy, now, and the goal is to release the trauma and rekindle that innocence, and I just don’t see it happening. I “feel” jaded and ruined. My Art Spirit is on life support, and I don’t see this improving in the immediate future.

        Our current state of society is repeating the falls of the ancient Greek, Egyptian, and Roman Empires. We’ve fallen into debauchery where “50 Shades Of Gray” is a best-seller and being made into a movie – it’s now acceptable and appropriate for people to harm one another for the sole sake of control and sexual gratification. EVERYTHING is permitted, today, and accepted as “being human.” We have a population that is morbidly obese and buffets on every corner to maintain their obesity. Soon, we’ll be opening up vomitoriums. I am watching, in horrified fascination, that human beings have not learned from past experiences, as a whole. And, it’s morbidly fascinating to observe this decline.

        I agree that we, as a species, are rotted and the only “hope” that we have is on an individual basis. Because power and control is SO egregiously abused (and, always HAS been), there is little in the way that we can alter the course of humanity. The only thing that I know that I can do is to alter myself – alter my OWN choices, beliefs, and actions.

  4. Dorothy, I was engaging in months of self-flagellation after the exspath left. “HOW could I have been so BLIND?!” I would moan to my counselor. Even people who didn’t have evil intentions would ask the same thing, “How could you NOT have known what he was doing with your own money?”

    This is the gist: we do not enter into ANY relationship with the intent to DIStrust. We enter into relationships with the intention TO trust – for me, it was total trust because I wouldn’t dismantle someone that I loved, and, therefore, anyone who claimed that they “loved me” would behave the SAME way.

    So, here’s the challenging aspect: HOW I chose such people and HOW they chose me boils down to my own vulnerabilities and core-issues. That’s it. That’s all. Like AncientHeart typed, they hone in on these things and, moreover, they do it with surgical precision. Because I was “needy” and so very, very damaged, I gave every predator the information that they needed to access and dismantle me, on every level.

    I was not taught that human beings could be predators. I knew that there WERE human predators, but they were all safely ensconced in prisons, somewhere. Since I had no understanding of what “boundaries” were, I didn’t filter myself OR other people. And, the childhood traumas that I experienced only reiterated the fact that I was not only undeserving of validation, but unWORTHY of it, as well. So, the core-strengths that I should have been given in childhood never even existed for me and human predators could smell my issues better than a vulture can smell a rotting carcass.

    Not knowing is a PAST experience. Today, it is enough for me to know that there are human predators, and that they all maintain similar “tells,” as you aptly put it. I don’t need to know WHY they are, or HOW they are – they just are what they are and it is my responsibility to just go the other way when I recognize “tells.”

    • To clarify about human predators: they are. And, they always have been. They always WILL be. I cannot change any past event, but I can change myself, today. And, it’s no easy task, given the shame-core that I developed and all of the resulting issues.

      I used to believe that, if I only understood, I could explain my own involvement with all of the sociopaths that I’ve ever encountered. Well, I DO “understand,” finally. They simply “are.” And, my recovery is about me, now – not necessarily about what THEY did.

      • Truthy, For me, this situation is so drastically different that anything else I’ve been involved in…….I KNOW it is different because at 53, this ain’t my first rodeo. I’ve been in f’ed up relationships in my past to varying degrees and NOTHING has done what this has to me. Nothing has left me mentally upside down and inside out. I KNOW this was different for some reason and that reason didn’t have a thing to do with me. It had to do with the fact that this POS strung me along for God only knows what reason, I can only guess. It’s the intentional, malicious, deception that has left my mind and heart polluted for what feels like the rest of my life. I’m sure it will get better, I hope I will recover because I do not want to live with this in my brain for the rest of my life. It’s torture. My home is polluted, my body is polluted and my mind is polluted by someone who now I can’t even say I knew. It was all subterranean, hidden from me with an intention that only he was aware of.
        Now that I know what the signs are and what they mean……sure, I know what to do…..because i know what they mean but I am normally not someone who doesn’t have ANY boundaries. When it comes down to major things, I know when to say no. I know who to hang out with and who not to hang out with. To the best of my ability I DO protect myself. This looser is something I have never known the likes of.
        Even one of my ex’s…..he was a liar and it caused all kinds of problems between us but i would not say he was pathological or malicious. Wounded yes, alcoholic yes, trouble telling the truth yes, but to intentionally hurt me, no. I would still speak to him today. I have not had any desire to rid myself of gifts he gave me, etc. I don’t think of him as a predator or a deceptive rapist. Would I date him again? Heck no. But I walked away from the end of that relationship feeling like I knew who and what he was. Not so with Spathx.

    • Truthy, I think the thing you say here that really really hits me is this

      “This is the gist: we do not enter into ANY relationship with the intent to DIStrust. We enter into relationships with the intention TO trust – for me, it was total trust because I wouldn’t dismantle someone that I loved, and, therefore, anyone who claimed that they “loved me” would behave the SAME way.”

      I SAW everything right from the get go and to the point of ending the relationship (not under the best circumstances on my part, in fact I got involved with someone else who I now believe is Spathy). That was in, essentially month # 1 of my involvement with Spathx. In essence, I knew there was a problem I just didn’t know what the problem was. I had no clue that someone could be so calculated and so malicious. I just had no clue. I didn’t have strong enough glasses on. I didn’t own a pair of Spath glasses strong enough.
      This is something that no one could possibly know before you actually KNOW it from experience. I had even witnessed it happening with my parents and my grandparents lives. Liars, manipulators, envious no do gooders. I just had no frame of reference for this romantic scenario, nor did I know what I had already witnessed was. My brother is a Spath! I just had never seen it operating on or in a romantic scenario and had no concept that someone would intentionally do something to hurt someone like this ON PURPOSE (and I believe as a pay back for the way I ended the relationship in month #1). So every “I love you” out of his mouth, every hug, every complement…..negated any doubts or questions i had. They flew in the face of my voice of reason because I just couldn’t imagine someone doing something so cruel and so heartless ON PURPOSE for as long as he continued to insist that he loved me. There were plenty of times that I thought I felt loved. There is no friggin way this could have gone any differently given so many factors. It’s as if the constant incongruencies between his words and his actions, or lack there of, just acted like nerve poison in my brain. I could not ever get to a point that I KNEW it was all bad, hopeless, dangerous and needed to end. I can not explain the dynamics to anyone it would seem.
      I absolutely don’t understand, given my own issues from the onset of my life on this earth, through my childhood and into my young adult life (at least), How I could possibly sort this out to the point of not having any vulnerabilities, wants, needs, etc.
      It’s not going to happen in the therapeutic settings I’ve found here so far because I couldn’t even describe what I’m doing in therapy. I personally don’t think i’m doing anything and now i’ve used up my allotted amount of visits that my insurance will pay for so anything further is out of pocket I guess.
      I may as well relinquish my self to a life without a mate and companion because I honestly don’t know how to be myself and protect myself at the same time. It just turns into a mental spazz.
      I know i do stupid things. One of my friends used to always say…..”now WHY would you do that Dorothy”? Not in a mean way but we would laugh about it…kind of……. I’d always say….”I don’t know, it made sense at the time”!
      Ancientheart……..I love what you said above here to Truthy. You seem to be connecting the dots more and more in a way that blows my mind!

  5. Truthspeak, it’s my turn to not be able to reply underneath your post LOL, every time I try to wordpress logs me out.

    I came across several articles yesterday about an archaeologist/linguist named Marija Gimbutas who theorized that patriarchal culture began about 5 or 6,000 years ago, at least in the Eurasian/Indo-European continents, and prior to that civilizations were matristic (she doesn’t use the word matriarchal because she said in an interview that it implies women were rulers and controllers and that wasn’t what she found through her own research) and that these matristic cultures were nonviolent. Pre-patriarchal civilizations were goddess-oriented and egalitarian, so humans haven’t always been barbarians. If civilizations prior to 5-6,000 years ago were essentially all matristic, then this patriarchal BS is extremely new and hopefully very short-lived since it’s a trainwreck in the making.

    My theory is that patriarchy co-opted some of the matristic spirituality into early scriptures but only so they could use it as bait, and that the biggest and most shameful dirty secret is that God is mostly feminine. We are made up of 70-75% water, so I theorize that “God” is 70-75% feminine 🙂 I remember Skylar saying that Girard believed the Bible had something hidden in it. I think that’s the shameful secret.

    All those rich elite weirdos paying Hollywood to advertise their sicknesses and trying to slime everyone with their infantile trash as well as to try to sell them on it actually are obsessed with a twisted goddess of their own making (“satan” is the “bad mommy/bad child.”) They’re obsessed with violence, perversions and sex. It’s all so obvious to me.

    Where are the grownups???

    I don’t follow what goes on with movies and such, and I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Hollywood is cranking out such infantile garbage and calling it “art.” 50 shades of feces LOL! I have to go online and check that out so I can get a good laugh.

    Truthspeak, what about trying a different art medium rather than the one you’re accustomed to? I don’t know whether your main expression is through painting or ? but how about going into a primal art realm of your being, try sculpture or pottery, something more simplistic and sensate to help you open back up?

  6. Skylar, this whole people hiding pedophilia among their buddies has gone on forever I guess….but NO one thinks it is OKAY…and yes they are blaming the medical professional and a bunch of other people for their own failings.

    Jesus said there would be FALSE PROPHETS coming into the church and they would be WOLVES in SHEEP’s CLOTHING…and to me this is the PERFECT EXAMPLE of Jesus’ prophecy about these wolves coming true. It is not ONLY the Catholic church, but many churches and organizations that suppose themselves to be doing good, from Boy Scouts on up.

  7. Dorothy, if you’re interested in the suppression of female power and the rewriting of history (which is ongoing), there’s actually quite a bit on the Internet to read about it. Here’s one site I like so far:

    http://www.suppressedhistories.net/index.html

    The archaeologist/linguist I mentioned, Marija Gimbutas, here is an interview with her sometime before she passed away in 1994:

    http://www.sibyllineorder.org/history/hist_marija.htm

    She turned the patriarchy myth maker stories upside down with her findings and she didn’t back down from both male and female attempts to discredit and ridicule her, she laughed at them.

    • Ancientheart, I will read this tonight. I can’t help but think that there is a huge woman/ female hating component to my spathcapade because…..the dynamics in his background are thus: His father, the only male sibling of nine children and he being the only male sibling, youngest child w/ two older sisters. I’m guessing there was quite a bit of nudge nudge/ wink wink going on between Spathx and his father. I’m probably lucky to not know a lot of things about him as I’m sure it would make the whole situation more revolting than it already is.

    • Ancientheart, They are threatened by the female because we feel and sense and communicate. Communication threatens their hold on the masses. Women are talkers and men would prefer they keep quiet….too threatening. Stalking The Soul talks about how tactic number one is to thwart any meaningful communication with the victim leaving her in confusion and powerless to understand. I can SO relate to that dynamic. Im probably not really relaying that accurately but something to that effect. I’ll try to come up with a more direct reference.

  8. Refusal to communicate Directly: pg 62 Stalking The Soul

    “The conflict, although subterranean, is played out daily by means of behavior that invalidate the victim. The abuser refuses to explain this behavior. This unwillingness to explain paralyzes the victim who, unable to defend herself, cannot deal with the aggression. By refusing to label and therefore discuss the conflict, the abuser obstructs finding a solution. The process of emotional abuse must prevent the other person from thinking, understanding and reacting.
    Withdrawal from discussion is an effective means of aggravating the conflict while simultaneously gaining influence. It’s a way of saying without words, that one is not interested in the other person, and even that they don’t exist. Because nothing is said, anything may be an accusation”

    Heh! welcome to my relationshit mental nightmare! This book is fantastic.

      • Oxy,
        lol!
        it could be any one of our exspaths photographs. They are all alike!
        The poor exspath complained that he could never win an argument with me. I tend to zero in on an issue and make my point.

        Spath’s way of solving this was simply to use more poison, more covert aggression. He would concede the battle but not the war. A spath never submits, not even when he’s wrong. Especially not when he’s wrong!

        At the end, after I left him, he would call on the phone and argue. But because he could never win and he no longer had access to me, physically, he would literally argue gibberish. He would win by making no sense at all. It left me talking to a babbling idiot and that was how he would win. Finally, I said, “Spath, talking to you is like talking to a brick wall, it’s senseless. You make no sense and you can’t hear me.”

        • Skylar…….That sounds SO familiar!!!!! Spathx would say things that didn’t make any sense and then when I’d ask him….he would change the subject or say never mind or say….”my point is, I love you and…..forget about what I said”! 😯
          I could not think on my feet around him…..I just could not keep up. My brain would just slump over in exhaustion. Or I would have a meltdown and then the egg was on my face. What a cluster cluck. It was WTFville, nothing got resolved,,,,,,,,,all a meaningless game to him i’m sure. How pathetic…….a 48 year old……seriously……..that’s all you’ve got? Have another drink Spathtard. LOOSER!

        • Skylar, so many things I regret not having said to him like your example…..not making sense…… I wish I would have just said, Do you realize that doesn’t make sense or What you are saying doesn’t make sense to me or………… fill in the friggin blank.

          • Dorothy, he knew he wasn’t making sense. That was how he planned to make you feel stupid. My spath used words he made up on some roadworkers by our house. He acted like an authority so they ate it up. Then he came in the house laughing and telling me how stupid those guys were to believe his fake words.

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