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Russell Brand Using the 180 Rule — 67 Comments

  1. If I’m still up after midnight I may watch these links, I can watch “free” things between midnight and 5 a.m. since the time changed I will probably be up at that hour, it always takes me a month to readjust to the new “time” LOL Like time matters much around here. LOL

    The hospice nurses we had were wonderful, and in fact, the night my dad was dying, the nurse was “off” and they had sent another nurse we didn’t know and SHE CAME TO STAY WITH US THAT NIGHT ON HER OWN TIME and the “assigned” nurse just sat and talked with family and friends. There were about 50 friends and neighbors there that night and it was a time of celebration not pain. He was ready to go and we were ready to let him go on.

    I can’t say enough good things about our hospice experiences…that time was precious to me…having grown up in a community in which death was not hidden away in a hospital for the most part, and the family prepared the bodies before the undertaker picked them up, and even as a YOUNG child, 4 or 5 I remember being at our family’s wakes and our neighbor’s wakes, with the coffin usually open in the living room. So death is not a tragedy always, as there are seasons of life and the community celebrated them. I am grateful for the time I had with him and the support I had both from hospice and the community. He was a well loved man.

    Our customs about death, and our shielding children from it (I think too much) and not allowing them to learn to grieve…when their puppy dies, we go immediately and get them a new one…they never LEARN to grieve and process their emotions.

    Of course not ALL grief is about death…we grieve any time we lose something that we valued…a relationship with a psychopath and their betrayal of us….my illusion that my mommy loved me…those were all big LOSSES and Ii grieved over them….my illusion that Patrick would stop stealing, and then the grief when he killed a girl. Those were much more horrible losses and huge grief issues…I didn’t face them well, and so they continued to keep me in denial for decades. Looking back at my age (soon 67) I realize that I haven’t lived my life as well as I could have (I won’t say “should have”) because I didn’t properly process the grief of my various loses through the years.

    Elizabeth Kubler-Ross who wrote so knowledgably about grief, herself lived a TROUBLED and painful life. She knew, as I did, and she taught me with her writings, but like me, she failed to put that knowledge into PRACTICE. Denial is a helpful emotional state FOR SHORT PERIODS OF TIME, but it is a TOXIC emotional state long term because denial prevents us from FIXING what is wrong and moving on through the rest of the stages of grief so that we can come to ACCEPTANCE of what IS, not trying to hold on to what is NOT.

  2. Quick update, since work is busy today! The book Riding the Dragon: 10 lessons for inner strength in challenging times is excellent. Only 130 or so pages. An excerpt:

    ….There is no guarnatee that tough times will result in greater gentleness, widsom, and a more grateful compassionate demeanor. But, the possibility is there for those who are open to it- so why not try it? Certainly, when life falls apart, don’t you deserve whatever good can come your way? And it only takes one thing: openess to change and to the possibility that you will be gifted anew in some unforseen way during and after these tough times of loss, trauma, loneliness, and great stress…..by facing the ‘dragons of reality and truth’ about our lives, much unforseen growth, depth, and promise become possible….


    • Thanks for the quote Slim, I always need reminding to stay in the truth, in reality that leads to an authentic life. Every spath we meet pulls us toward the opposite. They want to play a game.

  3. Slim, that’s a GREAT quote…and so true! Thanks for that, I am going to order the book today. Finding meaning in our lives is very IMPORTANT I think and I think we need to continue to look for that meaning….and have ACCEPTANCE of what IS (versus what ain’t ever gonna be! LOL) and have GRATITUDE for what we do have that is good in our lives, even if it is simply just clean water to drink and a roof (however leaky) over our heads, and to have an ALTRUISTIC bent that we can “pay it forward” for all the people who have helped us in our own lives.

    Thanks, slim, I appreciate that very much.

  4. I just ordered Riding the dragon and two other books by him, he has a long list. Most of what I bought was less than 4 including shipping…all three books INCLUDING SHIPPING were less than $12, not bad.

  5. Hmmm, Russel Brand. First time I saw him was in a movie where he basically played himself as a narcissistic rock star. And the most recent performance I saw of him was the BBC video interview regarding him editing a political magazine for a week. He used the same tactics there and ended with the conclusion that we can only change the system by not voting. I agree he’s not someone I’d ever like to meet, because he’s like a steamroll.

    To me it seems the journalists were warned about him and they had discussed a tactic amongst each other in the hope they could keep him off balance. But you can’t beat a smart ass spath at his own game. These are videos that fit perfectly in the ‘how not to interact/communicate with a spath’.

    • Agreed. If a person can slime you just from watching him on a video, what hope is there that we can emerge from an interaction with him, without getting slimed?

      • Just watching the start of a Russel Brand comedy act (on his ‘scandalous’ tour).

        He starts out lovebombing the audience, chatting them all up about how beautiful they are, perfect genetic make-up, so cuddly and human, as he walks amongst them etc.

        Then when he’s back at the stage, talked about porn and took his jacket off, he says at some point: “I have an objective here tonight. It’s challenging for me to achieve it, because I have two twin dilemmas which I must overcome because I want us tonight to achieve more than humor between us, I want to achieve enlightenment with absolute truth and beauty. I want to find in this moment perfection. Here are the obstacles, they both have to do with me…
        1) I’m quite self-involved
        2) And the other things is I use my mental illness that I suffer from as a kind of commodity, which is kinda difficult.”

        A little bit later he says, “Narcissism is a further one of my maladies. In fact, the only reason I ever go on the internet, aside from the aforementioned (porn), is to google my own name.”

        “Afflicted as I am with this manner and level of egotism I have to be protected from certain things, like externally for example, and ego-like mind should never hear this noise… – thum-thum-thum the main news again, Russel Brand – In my head that’s justified. In my head that’s the main news every night…”

        Note how he portrays narcissism that makes him the “sufferer”… although usually those who suffer most are the people slimed by him.

        The scandal he made the main news with was with total disgusting prank calls left on the answering machine of Andrew Sach (the actor who played Manuel in Fawlty Towers). Sach was supposed to be a pre-recorded guest speaker on the BBC radio show. But for some reason at the moment he needed to be reached all they got was his answering machine. And as Russel was leaving a prank message on the answering machine, his radio dj partner shouted how Russel had slept with Sach’s granddaughter. They make three other consecutive prank calls, going into more detail about the affair.

        Russel did have an affair with Sach’s granddaughter, but she didn’t want her grandfather to know (let alone the whole of the UK listening to the radio).

        Aren’t those actions that perfectly fit the slime behavior from someone who feels narcistically injured.


        • Jill, I barely know who Brand is, but his behaviors are the same as most every other disordered and/or toxic person: the INTENT is to HARM for their own entertainment and purposes.

          I detest and despise Howard Stern, and I always have. He’s the same way – he belittles, humiliates, and degrades others for his own benefit, and I do not believe that it’s “…just an act…” to generate ratings. These people do these things simply because they CAN and they find malicious glee in the carnage that they create. It’s not like “happiness” or “contentment” that a person might find in a healthy existence.

          I can’t abide these types of celebrities, I really can’t. I can’t watch the myriad “reality” television programming, nor can I tolerate most of what is considered “entertainment,” these days. It’s ALL done at the expense of others – whether it’s a rank comedian or “Teen Moms,” someone is deliberately victimized in the name of celebrity.


        • Jill,
          I knew almost nothing about Brand when I first saw the Morning Joe video and his abuse of the anchors. Watching it, I saw the pattern of abuse and thought it would interest students of the idealize, devalue and discard cycle. Further research into his history just confirmed for me that we CAN tell when someone is disordered and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist AT ALL!! Heck, half the time, they are ADMITTING to the red flags.

          But Russell Brand will be an interesting character to observe over time. He seems to self-sabotage. I wonder how his life will end up?

          One thing that helps us make a judgement call when we are wondering about a person’s character, is to look at the lives of people who have been around them. Brand, like many other disordered people, leaves a wake of destruction behind him. There are people picking up the pieces, trying to heal (like Katy Perry his ex-wife), particularly the women he has been intimate with. Though he is a sex addict, he hasn’t (to my knowledge) created any children YET. I hope that he never does. They would be the saddest little children…

          Shame, because it hides itself in narcissism, can best be seen by the impact it has on people who have been around the shameless spaths.

  6. You know, during the time of the Roman Empire’s greatest expansion etc. the public started to require “bread and circuses” and the “entertainment” became more VIOLENT and DEBASED until finally the empire fell…not really because the barbarians swept in, but because the Romans themselves were debased, and partly by their “entertainment”

    I look at World Wide Wrestling, Survivor,, Teen Moms, Honey Boo Boo, Dog the bounty hunter, COPS, Judge this and that, Jerry Springer, Cheaters, and every other “reality” show and I want to PUKE….

    WHY ANYONE would want to watch any of this carp I do not know…why they are SO POPULAR confuses me even worse.

    My son and I watch about 7 hours of TV a week and that’s it except for the evening news either at 6 or 10…we don’t have cable and the 7 hours we watch is about the only “acceptable” things to watch.

    I look back at what was considered “acceptable” words and pictures on TV when I was a kid, and what is ALLOWED NOW! When my own kids were growing up, we had a TV and for a while I kept them tuned to Sesame Street etc. but then the TV broke about the time they were in first grade and I told them “I couldn’t afford to fix it” and let it sit there….in the meantime they READ and rode their horse and we didn’t have TV again until they were about out of high school. But by then neither of them much cared to watch TV and would rather read or other things.

    One of the things I know about human nature is that what might upset us the FIRST or even 10th time we see it, like “blood and guts” etc. if we are continually exposed to it, will become “conditioned” and we will began to accept this as “normal.” So if we see “blood and guts” and sexual intimacy continually, we and our kids will expect this to be “normal”—and look at how many kids are violent, and how many are sexually active well before they are emotionally mature enough to handle that….I think our media is partly responsible for this, and of course on the internet there is NO censorship at all.

    I guess keeping Patrick away from TV didn’t really help him develop a conscience or he wouldn’t have murdered Jessica, but I know this much, if you allow kids access to violence, either in person or on line or on TV, it will become “normal” and acceptable to them. Our “first amendment rights” have gone TOO far in my opinion. Bread and circuses to keep the ignorant masses entertained.

  7. Oxy,

    Me too. What is the attraction to these shows? Kim and Kanye (Kardashian and West) are on the cover of Vogue this month. On yahoo they said they were the couple who the country is most fascinated with. I don’t know a SINGLE person who is fascinated with either of these two. Anyone who talks about them, in my circle of peers, does so with humor, not admiration or ‘fascination’.

    And I agree that it is more than likely people are becoming conditioned to seeing selfishness, betrayal, and lies as the norm and the way to really get ahead. That ‘getting ahead’ is all about how much cash and toys you have, and who you know.

    My friend lives in NYC and has several friends in the television, particularly reality TV, business. They openly talk about setting these shows up to have at least one truly personality disordered individual in them, and then several ‘targets’. Anne Marie, my friend, says they look for idealistic ‘helper’ types, who are ambitious and well-meaning, as targets. They even have a questionnaire to help them determine who is likely disordered, and to peg basic personality types.

    And, I have to admit to watching House of Cards to see the spaths in action. It’s hard to get away from the theme these days. Fiction or non-fiction, we seem to be fixated on watching bad people be bad.

    • OxD, it’s very interesting that you mention ancient Roman Empire in relation to our current culture/society. Without a doubt, we are repeating history, and we’ve learned NOTHING about human beings falling into debauchery, treachery, and (in general) very base behaviors. I remember when Jack Parr lost his job for saying, “Water closet,” on television. Now, you can hear the bluest and most rank stream of vulgarities and profanities imaginable………and, some of them from children!

      I think the addiction to drama/trauma causes people to think, “Thank gawd, that’s not me!” Or, it could be some sort of supply. It’s an adrenaline rush for some. But, whatever it is, it’s burning down our society and cultures. I’m not suggesting that we need to have an active Moral Police Force, or anything like that, but I’m saying that people need to think about humanity, instead of their own personal things (like “sex-ting,” 52-inch televisions, etc.).

      I am very grateful that I am NOT a teenager coming up in this current climate. Crazy stuff…………

  8. For anyone interested there is a VERY interesting well researched book on the fall of the Roman empire due too the ECONOMICS of putting almost the entire gross national production of the Roman empire on to the production of “the games” and how this led to the eventual down fall of the empire…Rome had become a welfare state where the citizens didn’t work, the state supported and “entertained” them and the politicians were corrupt, and “buying” votes with the games and the welfare state, and the hiring of soldiers to try to maintain the entire world under their domination….remind you of any other country you know?

    The book is “We who are about to die salute you.” can’t remember the author’s name but you can find a used copy on Amazon I am sure for a couple of bucks.

    There used to be a saying “the rich get richer and the poor get kids” and many times that is about the truth….and with the debasement and normalization of that state among the citizens it doesn’t take long for a civilization to fall by its own corruptness, and unfortunately too many times the “king” (by whatever name) is a psychopath who has climbed his way to the top over the bodies and lives of others. In the book “The 48 laws of power” which is actually a “playbook” for psychopaths, written by what Ii think is a psychopath, is a primer for how to control others and get what you want no matter who you hurt.

    So many “powerful” positions in any government are filled with psychopaths, from the cop on the beat to the Judge, to the Governor and on up the ladder. How many politicians have been arrested and convicted over all kinds of things, and look at NJ and Chris Christie and the “bridge gate”

    About the only thing that “we” can do is to look at the people we vote for and try to take the “lesser of two evils” and avoid interacting with the ones we know on a personal level.

    I guess maybe I am getting cynical in my old age, but I am just no longer willing to be SUPPLY to parasites that are looking for a host.

    • OxD, I may have to get that book, at some point.

      I may have mentioned this, before, but I was approached to run for public office in 1992 – I had spent time working with residents and neighbors to clean up our neighborhood and improve response time (and, manners) of Law Enforcement and emergency responders.

      I had NO intention of running for office. Even in the state that I was in at that time (I was still married to the first abusive ex), I had the wherewithal to understand that jumping into ANY political fray would have been a serious mistake. Even when people enter into that arena with the most altruistic of intentions, very, very few can escape the machinations of politics. And, I can actually imagine how difficult it must be to hold on to one’s integrity and principles when people are constantly attempting to draw one into darker and deeper waters where the predators feed. People are throwing money around, gifts, GRAFT, and “promises” that are all based upon deception and betrayal. A dedicated, genuine, and morally grounded individual has an uphill climb in such an environment, and they don’t remain in office for long.

      I don’t believe that you’re “cynical,” OxD. I believe that we have become PRACTICAL and “wise” after our experiences. We don’t wander through our days making malicious judgments on others – we apply what we’ve learned without rage, malice, etc., and call it whatever it is. 🙂

    • Oxy, Truthy,
      no you aren’t cynical, you just have your eyes opened. It’s not fun.
      Though my eyes are opened too, I could never read that book. I read the reviews and feel that my mind and heart don’t need to be scandalized anymore than they already are. Geez, just the Christy Bridge Scandal is almost too much for me! Not because I’m shocked, but because I know that he will basically get away with it. His supporters don’t CARE that he’s a psychopath. All they care about is that their investment into his rising star isn’t wasted.

      Hahahaha! I finished watching House of Cards 2nd season, too. It left me slimed but there was one thing that I liked about it. It portrayed the psychopath’s greatest tool: his tongue. People were safe UNTIL they let him SPEAK to them. Then they fall. Every time.

      That’s why it’s so important to never let a psychopath speak to us. Cut off his lies before they ever start because they are the source of their power. And of course, they NEVER stop lying.

  9. Skylar,

    OMGosh! Exactly! My husband even talked out loud to the TV, and said ‘Cover your ears!’. I recognize all the times I listened to the words, and believed them, even when they didn’t go with the actions. Words, on some level now, mean so much less to me. Just like we were discussing on the right speech thread, even those of us with the best of intentions can ‘waste’ our words.

    Then there are the psychopaths, using words as weapons, not as a communication tool (as in ‘to commune’, or make clear connection).

    I just finished the second season last evening. Man! (shaking my head)

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