Gray Rock works on the theory that psychopath behavior is fueled by envy. The moment they see something shiny, they have to have it. By using Gray Rock, we remove the shine from anything we truly value. Additionally, we can use Selective Gray Rock to make something we don’t value, seem valuable to the psychopath. We do this using the same methods that psychopaths use to deceive us: acting.
Gray Rock is an excellent way to avoid encounters with spaths because you blend into the background and they really don’t notice that you even exist. But is there a better way to avoid evil than to hide what you value? Perhaps there is.
Jesus was asked by his disciples if it was right for them to pay taxes to Caesar. “Show me a denarius. Whose portrait and inscription are on it?” He asked. They replied, “Caesar’s.” Jesus answered, “then give to Caesar what is Caesar’s and give to God what is God’s.” Luke 20:24 – 20:25
He said to them, “You are from below; I am from above. You are of this world; I am not of this world.” John 8:23
Jesus was talking about values and the difference between valuing material things versus spiritual things. Perhaps the best long term plan for avoiding psychopaths will be in changing our own value system and refusing to participate in the value systems used by psychopaths.
As long as we place our values in the things of this world, there will be others who will envy and want those same things. Psychopaths have no limits and will do whatever it takes to acquire anything you value. Even if your values are Godliness and virtue, which can’t be stolen, they will sabotage whatever you present as being of value to you. Their determination is to leave you as empty as they feel. They will even try to destroy your faith.
Hide Your Valuables
The psychopath I experienced, knew I had great faith in God. One day he said, “Honey, I worry so much about our cats. They’re like our children and I worry that they’ll be hurt, run over or killed by coyotes. I want to pray to God but I can’t because He never answers my prayers. You’re going to have to pray for both of us so that God will protect our children.” I assured him that the kitties would be fine and that I always prayed for their safety.
We had five cats. I loved them all dearly but I confess that I had a favorite, Julian. I treated him like a baby. Within a week, the psychopath came in the door and he appeared to be crying. “I found Julian, run over on the road,” he whimpered. I stared at him. Something made me think he was lying. The way he looked at me, crying then peaking one eye upwards to watch my face. But of course, that couldn’t be possible, because I believed he loved me. I must be in denial, I thought. I must not want to believe that Julian is dead. But of course he is, why would he lie? Then the psychopath said, “I don’t want you to see him, the way he looks now. His head is crushed.” I took a quick look at Julian but didn’t look closely. It was Julian, laying dead in the box. That’s all that mattered at that moment.
Looking back, I know why I suspected a lie: The psychopath killed Julian. I know what he wanted to take from me. It wasn’t Julian, it was my faith in God. His speech about prayer was a psychopathic tell. He didn’t like the power that faith gave me. He didn’t like the solace I derived from it. In his mission to cause me soul-crushing misery, he was constantly being blocked by God. His intent was to make me believe that God would not answer my prayers, so there was no use praying.
Psychopaths have been around for a long time and Christian martyrs paid the ultimate price for not giving up their faith in God. They modeled values not of this world. They refused to Gray Rock their faith, even to save their lives. Yet though they died, their faith has survived in the people they inspired. I believe that ultimately, mimetic desire can be a good thing when we model the values that Jesus taught us.
In mimetic theory we learn that teaching values can only be done by example. To change the things that others value, we have to start with ourselves.
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