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Precious Pearl of Purity – The Opposite Of Slime — 762 Comments

  1. Truthy and Oxy,

    Great exchange! People can make mistakes, but as soon as I see a sign that they completely ignore my wellbeing for a selfish reason, I start to avoid them.

    Example: I went on two dates with a man half a year ago. At the end of the second date he took me to a bar. It’s forbidden to smoke in bars in Belgium, which suits me fine since I quit smoking. And at the time of the date I had quit smoking only 2 months before. But as proud as a 40-year old rebel without a cause he said he knew a bar where everybody smoked inside the bar, despite it being illegal. First of all, I find it pretty pitiful that at this age a person still rebels in a way similar to that of a teen. I have nothing against a rebel nature… I’m a rebel myself, but there are far more important battles, and well logic and wellfare should prevail. But on a more personal level it annoyed me, because it was just very selfish to want to go to a bar with everyone smoking inside when you’re out on a date with a person who quit smoking. Eventually I allowed myself to smoke one cigarette in order to get through. I did not fall of the wagon, but I knew then that I should never date this person again:
    – if I’d be around him, I’d start smoking again
    – he had shown his petty rebellion and smoking a cigarette inside was far more important than any consideration of me not smoking and having quit it. Why would I want to see a person again who showed not even the most basic courtesy to a person who quit her addiction in favour of his own addiction? Nah.

    • GREAT example, Jill….and that’s what I mean about looking at people and OBSERVING their behavior not only toward us, but toward others, toward the law etc. When people are INCONSIDERATE of others or of us, we can know right away that they will not GAIN more consideration as we grow closer to them. they will in the future be LESS considerate. In this particular case I think the man was TRYING to get you to smoking again. When people also do not show consideration for legal and social mores, I don’t need them in my life either.

      That definitely decreases the NUMBER of people I associate closely with, but the ones I do have as friends are PURE GOLD, caring, considerate and I feel relaxed around them because they have shown over a period of time what their real CHARACTER is. And believe me, I am like you, the first sign of BAD CHARACTER, bad choices, disrespect for others or the law…don’t need them at all.

      • He wouldn’t have minded it at all had I started smoking again, for the simple reason that it would be less confrontational for his own smoke addiction. Around that time he also posted on his fb wall that we all have to die of something. I was very much tempted to reply wit, ‘sure, but I’d prefer to do so with smoke free lungs’. I ignored it in the end. Anyway, he wasn’t toxic in general, but he preferred to live in his own denial of cog/dis regarding, and others were supposed to conform to it or be tempted into conforming to it. I concluded it was very likely that this must be his general way of dealing with realities that opposed his wishes and desires, and thus was a bad foreboding.

        Most of my friends smoke, but here’s one very remarkable thing about them: they all offer and insist on smoking outside. They are proud that I quit, encourage me, even if they are still smoking, and they go out of their way not to tempt me.

        I also have a very funny thing to share. Recently I had a dream about the man I CAN value and trust to care about me that was pretty funny. Ex psychopath appeared in it as well. Ex tried to spread doubts about the other. It would have been shocking hadn’t it been so laughable to have him pretent he cared about my wellbeing and simply projecting his own shadiness on someone else. He had nothing on him. I laughed and told him he could take a hike and he couldn’t be further from the truth…

        • Jill, you provided a perfect example. That intent to undermine and/or sabotage another person’s efforts is a HUGE “tell!”

          Very interesting dream content, too – it’s the KNOWING of the bogus pretenses and that you actually laughed is so healing!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!! 😀

  2. My late husband used to say “Life is a tough teacher, she gives the TEST FIRST, and the LESSON AFTERWARD”

    I am a PhD honor graduate of the UNIVERSITY OF HARD KNOCKS, and some courses I failed to get the first few times I took them, and had to RETAKE the same course until I finally GOT IT and passed by learning the lesson. LOL ROTFLMAO

    Unfortunately, there are many people who don’t get the chance for a do-over, even for a HARD lesson…you either get it right the first time or the damage is so severe you can’t retake the course. My son’s victim, Jessica Witt, didn’t get a do-over about learning about psychopaths. She was naive and young and inexperienced but full of life and wanted to paddle her own canoe instead of staying home and living with her folks. She died for that choice.

    I also leaped out of the nest at too young an age, and COULD have paid for it with my life, but I GOT LUCKY because it wasn’t wise choices on my part that let me survive, where she died. “Luck” of the draw has a great deal to do with whether we get additional chances to learn the lesson…I’ve been fortunate there…it is sure not my making good choices. I am trying to make better choices now. More logical ones. Safer ones. and setting boundaries about who Ii will or will not associate with makes my life BETTER for sure. Yep, boundaries are the cat’s meow! They help keep us safe and sane….but there is still the luck of the draw as well.

  3. Hi all hope you’re all well? Seem to be having problems logging in. I’ve tried to send you an email sky but it says you’re inbox is full. Help please. Thank you

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