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Penn State’s Fall From Grace. — 79 Comments

  1. Annie,
    Yes, I did download that, I remember now. The adult children of the nazi guards promptly forgot what they didn’t want to know. That’s one of the reason I made recordings and kept them. I needed to re-experience what had happened so I would never doubt myself. Every once in a while, I actually entertain the idea that I had imagined it all.

    I’ve seen cases where law enforcement is caught with their pants down, on video, and they simply re-interpret what happened. The courts accept it and pretend it’s true. The legal system is so full of spaths that I don’t actually blame everyone for being afraid. Remember Serpico. He didn’t toe the blue line. I read that 40 years later, he hasn’t recovered emotionally from the experience. If it wasn’t for the money he got from the movie deal, he’d be pushing a grocery cart.

    Everyone has to justify what they’ve done in order to live with themselves for doing what they had to do to survive.

    I think this is what Jesus was talking about when he said, “be in this world, but not of this world.”

  2. Skylar,,,,,,,Wow……what a great article. I don’t know why I had dent read this one yet but it put a lot of things into perspective for me. The pitty ploy and the manipulation and the EVERYTHING. In regards to forgiveness, loving those who do bad things, enabling, in the comments above……this article by George Simon is probably one of the most important things I’ve read so far during my Spath recovery. I don’t mean to take anything away from you because everything of yours that I’ve read is incredible. This article really showed me what I should have been insisting on seeing rather than the empty promises I settled for, what real remorse and change would have looked like.
    http://www.manipulative-people.com/contrition-behavior-and-therapy/#comment-3213

    My Spath was a bully. He preyed not only on a woman but on a woman with a form of brain damage and resulting emotional vulnerabilities in order to get his needs met because he’s too lazy or morally deficient to meet his own. It’s disgusting. Even though I clearly see that this is on him and not me, I still feel the slime and humiliation of “allowing” myself to be fooled and settling for crumbs.

    • Great link, Dorothy.
      George’s website is one of my favorites. The concept of contrition is one that I will have to give more thought to, especially in regards to how George describes it as a “breaking down”. It’s particularly appropriate today, since it’s Ash Wednesday, which is about accepting that we are dust and to dust we shall return.

      • The thing is……I don’t think a true Spath ever breaks down. From what I’m gathering, nothing is a deterrent? They would prefer not to get caught but it sounds like they just see that as, ” shit happens ” and they will just lie there way out and around the truth anyhow.

        I’d LOVE to see Xspath go down and take his mother with him. I certainly do not wish any physical harm on anyone but if he f’ed up and it implicated her in some$$way, I would have a hard time feeling bad about it. The stage is set for sure……it’s up to the powers that be to direct the show.

        It blows my mind that there are people who will go an entire life time and just continue down the same dark alley. Maybe any other way of life just seems to dull and boring to them.

  3. I’m interested to read more of his articles. When I read the article about contrition, the first thought I had was that he sure wasn’t referring to psychopaths because no psychopath will ever be crushed, they do the crushing and project their crushed selves onto their victims. A psychopath can’t fall into the character disorder label in my opinion because that implies there is a conscience somewhere. The psychopath has no conscience and no soul. As M. Scott Peck says, they are evil: “People Of The Lie.” They are not in my opinion character disordered.

    • AncientHeart, He, from what I have read, puts Spaths at the far end of the spectrum and both Hare and Simon don’t paint a picture of redemption. I think the article is meant as a vehicle to help victims determine what the troubled person in their life is all about. If they SHOW signs of sustained effort and motivated observable signs of change then it’s worth giving them a second, third or even fourth chance. If they don’t……..Spath.
      It all just makes me feel slimy. I wish I could wash him off and out of me.

      • My impression from that first article about contrition was that Simon wasn’t addressing psychopaths, but after reading several more of his articles – I’ve read his descriptions of what he considers various subtypes of aggressive personalities – I no longer think he may have been an apologist for psychopathy LOL, but even with all of the aggressive personality types he described, how many people with these psychopathic disorders just engage in a theater of change and never really change? Try just about all of them. Nothing but another act in an eternal play of deceit. Only the fool believes otherwise.

        • In Lundy Bancrofts book, SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO, he says not to give the book to the partner in hopes of changing them. The book is for the victim. However, he has a website associated with the book that has a two part outline that can be printed and given to the partner who says they really want to change. If they are serious about changing their thinking and behaviors, what needs to be done is clearly spelled out. If not……..Spath. I can honestly say that if I were Spath and was facing the kind of changes in Lundys worksheets, I would run for the hills. It’s a tall order.
          I can also say that if XSpath was seriously interested in true change, I would have gone the distance. He was not. Spath.

          With Spath…..confronting him and his deceptions was so bizarre, and tiring that it just opulent be done effectively, at least not by me. I’d love to sit down in a locked room with Spath, George Simon, Lundy Bancroft, Robert Hare, Judge Judy and Dr. Phil, and watch him try to wiggle out of his BS. THAT would make this whole nightmare worth while.

  4. I was reading from Lloyd DeMause’s website tonight, and he obviously has been onto the truth because he was smeared and discredited almost relentlessly about what he uncovered. I could not believe the atrocities committed against children. Humans were absolute barbarians, cannibals. Psychopaths from the very beginning of their appearance on Earth. Our entire gruesome history of the unspeakable has been so well concealed.

  5. Ancient Heart,
    the amazing thing is that the concealment is done through denial. Spaths know that if their behavior is horrific enough, a normal human will simply deny that it is happening. They sabotage our ability to see the truth by making it so horrible.

    Somehow, perhaps because of their own trauma, or perhaps because they are infantile, they intuitively know that we will deny the truth when it frightens us.

    Thank God for our right brain. It always knows the truth. If we listen to it, to the truth, we can escape from their vindictive atrocities.

    • As I’ve been reading Demause’s online articles and am in the middle of Demause’s article on the universality of childhood incest at the Journal of Psychohistory Institute website ( http://www.psychohistory.com/htm/06a1_incest.html ), and the following two paragraphs struck a deep nerve to me:

      “The best evidence for the cause of pedophilia is provided by the clinical reports of the psychotherapists who have written extensively on the subject.(74) The pedophile, similar to other perverts, suffers from severe lack of love and fears of individuation in his or her early childhood, and both desires and dreads merging with the mother because of an enormous need to reinstate mother child unity. Earlier childhood abuse of pedophiles is commonly found. As an adult, the pedophile must have sex with children in order to maintain the illusion of being loved, while at the same time dominating the children as they themselves once experienced domination, repeating actively their own caretaker’s sadism. The pedophile uses the child as a breast-substitute, both in the sense of using him or her for gratification and also as an object for sadistic aggression.

      “The pedophile’s sexual activity is extraordinarily compulsive because it wards off recurring feelings of fragmentation, depression and death. This helps explain why the pedophile’s sexual targets are so inter-changeable and why an active pedophile often seduces hundreds of children in his or her life. The seduction of children is a desperate defense against fears of personal disintegration. It should not be thought of – as it usually is by historians and anthropologists – as “an outbreak of instinctual sexuality.” or as being due to “a lack of impulse controls” or “a weak superego.” Adults who molest children have extremely powerful punitive superegos and are often highly religious. They are driven to their acts not by their sexual instincts but by their overwhelming intrapsychic anxieties. Given the seriousness of the perversion, it is not surprising that successful therapeutic methods have only recently become available.”

      To me, his insight about the underlying pathology of pedophiles bears too much resemblance across the board to nearly every addiction, every perversion and dysfunction of humanity, some maybe not so severe, some far more so, but hardly much difference when you strip it down to the basics. Just substitute _____ for “child,” name your scapegoat.

      My theory is that the primordial creator known by the name God is a perfect balance and unity of masculine and feminine (I personally see the feminine aspect as being the more significant of the polarity and the masculine as more complementary but no less necessary) and that our brains which are designed to perceive this unified polarity have instead split God into either/or or altogether denied God, and there lies evil. God can’t be divided or denied, it’s humans who divide and deny God. I think that is the magic trick to expose. Our hemispheres are designed to perceive the holism of God, and as Skylar pointed out, our right hemisphere intuits the truth. It’s known that our physical parents represent an infant’s first gods, and brain research shows how our brains are hard-wired largely by our earliest experiences.

      Maybe science and spirituality is, like V.S. Ramachandra said, forming the bridge to lead us away from denial and self-extinction, as well as the extinction of the rest of life on the planet.

      • Ancient Heart,
        I just read that article. ugh. I think I may have read it before, but I repressed it! 😯

        I agree with you that it is the lack of unity in our minds which creates distress. The left brain has dominated our perceptions and we are “addicted” to the relief that it gives us when it tells us that it has complete understanding, or at least the ability to understand. But that’s a lie, we can never know everything. The left brain lies all the time. It reminds me of the way a spath constantly tells us that we can trust him.

        • I’m going to finish reading the article tonight. Yes, ditto on the “ugh.”

          About that left hemisphere LOL, you reminded me of something – I did clerical work for some lawyers in the late 80’s and they had a file drawer full of great jokes, lots of them about lawyers. One joke was a very simple diagram showing the two hemispheres of lawyers’ brains; on the left was the word “Lies” in huge letters, on the right in huge letters was “Ego.” LOL!

      • AncientHeart……I just can’t wrap my head around the pedophile, mother, Brest, children thing at all. Do they pick on children because children can’t engulf them? I feel so frustrated when I don’t ” get ” something like this. Can’t make the connection!

        • Dorothy,
          I’m not totally sure I get the whole thing either. In some ways, it’s almost impossible to “get” the way a pathological thinks.

          I do understand the fear of fragmentation though. We are born fragmented. We don’t have control of our arms and legs or even the ability to focus our vision. As we grow, we gain competence in these and other skills, but we retain the memory of all we’ve experienced, including the memory of being fragmented. This was a scary time in our lives, during which we were assisted with all our needs. We were helpless. We never want to go back to that time, but at the same time we fear that we will.

          I think fragmentation is related to dissociation:
          http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociation_(psychology)
          http://www.dana.org/news/cerebrum/detail.aspx?id=11122
          These 2 articles might help.

          Anyway, it seems to me that DeMause is saying that the pedophile violates children as a way to defuse the shame of having been violated, of having been raped, or just of having been a fragmented helpless child once. Like kicking a dog because your boss fired you and you can’t get revenge on him.

          When a pedophile rapes, I believe he is switching roles from being the victim to becoming the adult that once tormented him. He watches the drama that once happened to him, being played out on another human being.

          • Ok, we retain the memory of being helpless and fragmented, and/ or abused, like the caterpillar/ butterfly retains the memory of the smell associated with the electric shock? Ill have to think on that. Something’s coming together. It would take me quite a while to describe the things that Spaths mother and I “had in common” or could be interpreted that way. I noticed that right off…….another red flag ignored!

          • The perspective I have about infancy/early childhood is that it is (in ideal conditions) wholistic, a time of innocence, creativity, and self-absorption that leads to self/object identification, individuation and relationships, while the child still has a healthy matrix to come and go from throughout this process of floating away from the mothership LOL.

            We apparently need an umbilical cord to a matrix all our lives and have countless mother substitutes whether it be religion, groups, families, patriotism, money and materialism, addictions, etc. There must be something to that. We must as humans have some innate need to have a matrix, placenta, mother substitute of some kind, or reflection of one, whether it be love or its imposter and antithesis, which to use Demause’s term, would be the “poison placenta.” Home of the psychopath and pedophile (I doubt many pedophiles are not psychopaths.) It is both delusional and based on early experience, so their insanity and destructiveness – while unquestionably unconscionable – nevertheless has a dark logic to it.

            This mother thing:

            The entire known universe is filled with water. Our brains are something like over 90% water, our bodies about 70% water. Masaru Emoto studied water and found that water stores memory and will mirror what we think and feel by changing its very structure. Are we living in an infinite water-filled placenta which is telling us in its silent wisdom that what we perceive is what we receive? Pardon me for getting off-topic here, but this water thing really has my attention these days.

            Arthur Janov and primal therapy also caught my attention today, there was reference to it by one of the psychohistory websites.

          • Ancient Heart and Dorothy,
            There does seem to be a connection between psychopathy, mothers and the mirroring that children require in infancy in order to develop emotionally.
            Water is symbolic of emotion and also capable of mirroring us.

            The mythological Aztec god, Tezcatlipoca (Whose name means “smoke and mirrors”) has only one leg. The other leg was eaten by a crocodile and replaced with a mirror. He is a trickster god and the personification of evil.
            http://180rule.com/seeing-through-psychopathic-smoke-and-mirrors/

            The “limp” is also a common theme that pops up in mythology. Oedipus means “swollen foot” and he received that injury when his father abandoned him in an attempted infanticide. The god Vulcan also has a limp when his mother, Hera, rejected him and threw him off Mount Olympus in an attempted infanticide. I think that the limp represents the undeveloped right brain or the undeveloped emotional side. These figures lean toward the intellectual to function, therefore one side is very strong and the other is withered. In the case of Tezcatlipoca, he replaced his leg with a mirror. So we might say that he doesn’t have the emotional/instinctual side, but he deceives his victims by “mirroring” theirs.

            As an interesting aside, there have been studies on how the psychopath chooses his victims. Apparently they look for an awkward gait, or a limp.
            http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/extreme-fear/201010/how-psychopaths-choose-their-victims
            There used to be a you tube video of it but I can’t find it now.

            I believe that the psychopath looks for victims whom he can identify with. People who, like him, are not in touch with their emotions and won’t respond to their fear. These people aren’t evil, they are just leaning too far toward the intellect and won’t run unless they can cognitively identify the danger.

          • AncientHeart, Skylar…….did you read my comment somewhere else when you were talking about water? I was making a connection with Narcssius and the pool of water and malignant narcissism and Spaths. I said before that I might be overstating the obvious. Maybe something you have already put together or posted.
            I love those water pictures. I saw them somewhere a long time ago.
            AH…..I got some good spring water! Not in beautiful glass bottles though but “good” plastic. It’s bottled at a small spring in my state. I’ve seen a segment on TV about it and the facility is very cool.

          • Regarding water…..in the metaphysical ( not sure if that is the right word )realm it is the element of emotion. Somehow I’m thinking that all ties in to what you are saying AH. Not sure how though. Just a feeling.

    • Ancient Heart,
      I meant to reply to this earlier.

      Although I have no doubt that ritual abuse occurs, some of those cases have been thrown out or reversed. I’m pretty sure one or both of the cases in Washington were reversed. Whether justly or unjustly, I don’t know. Unfortunately, the only thing that wikipedia can do is to cover their own butts against defamation suits. So please don’t get too upset with wikipedia.

      Spaths are as capable of making children believe lies as they are of making adults believe lies. So I don’t know who the spaths were in these cases, but you can be sure that spaths were involved.

      If only would could invent a portable, fail proof, spath detector. We’d make billions!! lol.

  6. Skylar, have you ever seen how they use the mirror box to treat phantom limb pain for amputees?? This is all coming together but I’m not sure how! Lol
    I did see that utube video you are talking about with the different people walking down the hallway. I certainly hope Xspath is not a reall wacko psychopath. I actually ” picked him up” initially. Long story…….

    • Dorothy,
      I had seen that before. It is starkly different from the one that summarizes Asperger’s report.

      The two authors that Liane Leedom quotes seem to not really get it. They are too bound up in the details, like empathy or lack of empathy. IMO, those are symptoms and that’s why they appear differently in different people.

      Liane’s own opinion, I think, strikes much closer to the truth. She says the problem with spaths is that they are obsessed with power and dominance. This is true, but again, it is a symptom. The obsession with power occurs because they feel powerless. Just as a person is obsessed with food when they don’t have any, but they know they will need it. Or money when broke.

      Powerlessness is the same thing as shame. Shame is the feeling of being unable to cover yourself, unable to protect yourself, lacking worth and unable to change that. Powerlessness is shame.

      Shame is also a narrowing of focus. The focus is on the self and the feeling is an acute awareness of being seen and unable to hide. The Asperger article explains that narrowing of focus is the best description of autism. That focus is on the self. That’s why they appear narcissistic or degenerate.

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