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Narcissistic Entitlement: Psychopaths Say the Darndest Things — 18 Comments

  1. From my mother after I said no to her asking me to prescribe her something that I felt was dangerous for her: “This has nothing to do with ETHICS, I’M YOUR MOTHER.”

    After throwing a severe temper tantrum at me the evening before I had major surgery: “I thought I only had to be good AFTER your surgery”

  2. Hi Mnav,
    It’s jolting when we first realize that we have to explain right and wrong to our parents, but then they still don’t get it.

    Your second example reveals how much it bothered her that you were entitled to special attention for being sick. She was trying to even it out by getting attention before your surgery, since you were going to get the attention afterwards.

    It’s mind boggling. They have to have all the attention.

  3. what triggered her tantrum was the fact that she wanted me to burn off a wart on her finger when she arrived the evening before. but she didn’t listen to me tell her what time she needed to leave in order to miss traffic, and she was an hour late. I did not want to wait for her in my office because I had some spiritual work I needed to do that evening in preparation for my surgery. she became enraged that I did not want to wait for her. so I did, and missed something I had wanted to attend. she was still hateful and venomous towards me. yes, very much so, it was her entitlement that fueled all of that, and her inability to be nurturing when it was necessary. this incident triggered divorce #2, all over a wart.

    the other point about this incident is the way they always wait until you are most vulnerable to pull their biggest stunts. she waited until I needed her and would not be able to find anyone else to help me with my surgery. then she threw her tantrum because she knew she could get away with it and I would not tell her to piss off. my ex did this to me too. he waited until I was completely dependent on him to become hateful and mean, and demanding of my humiliation, knowing that I would feel trapped. this is why I think we have to be very careful of the whole mindset about “forgiveness”. It was this concept that to be spiritually advanced, I needed to forgive, that made me take my mother back after divorce #1. If we think that people should be forgiven and given a second chance, this is what the spaths take advantage of in order to keep tormenting us. We have to be very careful about these second chances. Forgiveness is one thing, but like you said, once they show you who they are, it’s important to believe them, and not take risks with your heart and your life.

  4. For the longest time, I would analyze the triggers as if they were the cause, when in fact, they were the symptom. Envy is always the cause. When someone else is getting attention, it triggers the drama so that they get the attention.

    Think about it, warts don’t grow overnight. How long did she have that wart before the drama erupted?

    Yes, they know when their prey is cornered, don’t they? They set up an expectation in you then they pull the rug out. You never get what you expected, especially if it involves compassion.

    You don’t have to forgive, it’s an illness, a contagion on humanity. You have to protect yourself from it using a variety of methods. Especially educating your self and others about this “Ebola”. The more people have it, the more likely you will get contaminated.

    Some can be cured, some refuse. You have to accept the treatment, which requires growth on our part and letting go of the hurt. The disease is a disease that transmits pain. They want you to have their pain and when you hold on to anger, they’ll know they’ve wounded you. Don’t let them win. The correct response is, “haha! you missed me!” (metaphorically, of course)

  5. Lucy with the football….. and Charlie Brown, the empath, fell for it every time.

    I am still trying to let go of the hurt. I’m done with my mother, but not with my ex. My son still bears the emotional scars that I am still dealing with. I don’t know if he is a time bomb waiting to go off. Thank you for putting it in perspective. My ex’s mother, the trustee, has asked me to forgive him. But I can’t tell her that he was so morally corrupt that it’s not even a question of that. The way I have thought of it is that I don’t think there is anywhere in the bible where we are required to forgive Satan. He wasn’t really human in the sense that forgiveness is even a logical thing to consider. If you are bitten by a snake, do you struggle with whether you should forgive the snake? The problem is when all of society thinks that it’s an important thing to do. Imagining that, shines a light on how ridiculous it all is. Like the belief that he was a decent person was a mass delusion. That is exactly how I experience it. As a massive disconnect. Somehow, society as a whole needs to come to understand the world the way it is, the way we have seen it. We need to have a way to communicate our experience. But it’s like we are the only ones who speak the language. it takes a major paradigm shift for people to understand. The Lie is too powerful. Half our country is mesmerized by it.

  6. MNAV,
    I’ve been asked, by a couple of people, “When are you going to get revenge on your ex-psychopath for poisoning you?” My answer is, “I get revenge every day, not just on him, but on ALL psychopaths.” How? With this blog.

    Every time someone out there in the world Gray Rocks another spath, I get revenge. My ex wants people to suffer, he doesn’t care how. All spaths enjoy others’ pain. So when another innocent victim escapes from a spath, all spaths lose. The revenge is particularly sweet knowing that it’s because of my ex-spath that I’ve been able to share the truth about spaths. And therefore, it’s because of him that so many spaths will lose their victims. Ironic isn’t it? What sweeter revenge could there be when his evil toward me has backfired so spectacularly by saving so many from suffering?

    I encourage all people to get this type of revenge. Study them and share your knowledge, share links to this blog and to other blogs about spaths. One by one, we will dry up their supply.

  7. yes, I have learned so much from your blog, it helped me a great deal when I was just figuring things out. do you ever write about apaths? the problem with my ex was magnified and solidified by his recruitment of an apath who would not defend me from him, and by that position she validated him and made it impossible for me to protect myself or my children from his threatening behavior. she was my family member so it just looked really bad that she wasn’t defending me. I still look bad to his family because I will have nothing to do with the apath, who is a successor trustee. he left behind so many “cult members” who continue to torment me indirectly, not realizing that he set that all up to continue after his death. I’ve been “grey-rocking” the trust but ultimately that doesn’t serve my kids because it’s their inheritance.

  8. Actually, each of the spaths I mentioned in this article, with the exception of my ex-psychopath, is or was a minion for him. The woman was also his minion without knowing it because he sent a proxy to engage her. They are what you would call apaths, but I just call them all psychopaths.
    You see, these minions have no empathy. If they thought they would get away with it, they would be serial killers too. They just lack the balls. That’s the only difference between him and them.
    Believe me, they don’t think he’s a good guy, they just think that “it’s okay to be evil”. It makes them feel good, so it’s “okay”. Victimizing and scapegoating is so much fun for them, they won’t give it up unless they have to.
    If you won the lottery and no longer cared about the inheritance, they would look for a way to take that too because they are addicted to torturing you. You have become their drug and your ex makes it possible. With his air of confidence and his sense of entitlement, he gives them the confidence they wouldn’t have on their own.
    The only thing you can do to take their fun away is to gray rock them. Don’t seem depressed or angry over their behavior, you must seem too distracted to care. Your new interest is pokemon, or collecting tea from all over the world. The less attention you give the issue of the trust, the more they will bring it up. Let them.
    Just keep acting like you’ve moved on and have no interest.

    I would also recommend that it not actually be an act. Your kids should find ways to make themselves successful in this world without the trust. They will be better prepared to make their way in the world and if, the trust ever becomes theirs, so much the better. It will be a pleasant surprise.

  9. my apath is not a sociopath. she is a buddhist and at one point was a nun in training. she believes in the goodness of all people and was completely brainwashed by the spath to think I am the bad one. these people believed that he had turned over a new leaf and was a wonderful father. I knew he had molested my son, and was gagging in the bathroom at the memorial service while they were all fawning over what a great father he was.

    his mother avoids talking to me about the trust. I ask her about it and she ignores me. I hope that my kids won’t ever need it, but it’s a different world out there than when I was young and my kids have more problems than I did as a child. I am disabled and my son is likely to be also. They need that safety net and it was cruel of him to set it up so that they would not have access to it until they are 35, as if they did not have my family mystery illness hanging over them, as if my son was not special needs. it was rude and invalidating to them as human beings. Trusts for special needs children should not be set up the way he did it.

  10. I just recently met a buddhist spath. He said “love is for all people”. He gave me a ride to a meeting and kept changing the route, then said he had “other plans”. He asked me to wait for him about 30 miles from where we were supposed to be, while he finished his plans then was going to shower and attend the meeting with me. I gave him the slip and took the bus to the meeting. He arrived later, not showered. Silly spath.

    The religious spaths have great masks. They spend hours on their knees praying. Some attend church twice a week!

    Spaths come in all shapes and sizes.

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