What used to be a popular girl’s name has now become an internet meme. The name Karen is used on social media to describe a white woman who thinks she’s entitled to anything she wants and will call the manager …Continue reading →
A psychopath would rather have nothing than see you have something. If the deal is a win/win, or even if he comes out ahead in the deal, that isn’t enough for the psychopath. You must end up miserable with your end of the deal. This concept is more difficult to understand than you’d imagine because normal people don’t include the look on your face as part of a deal.
People ask if it’s possible to manipulate a narcissist. How do you manipulate someone who lies and manipulates? Psychopaths and narcissists are just like anyone else, you can manipulate a narcissist if you know what they need. That’s why they lie all the time. They are determined from the beginning of any relationship to establish the upper hand. To do that, they have to hide what they really need and want. I can tell you what that is:
Psychopaths have a trick for numbing us to danger. I call it the danger-safe trick. It’s also known as the trauma bond or Stockholm syndrome. It’s part of the whipsaw on your emotions. First they create the danger and then they save you. There are a myriad of ways it can happen.
Psychopaths can be so difficult to identify that even when they tell us who they are, we still can’t see it. By projecting their camouflage into our minds, they can hide in plain sight. Their sense of entitlement is their camouflage.
In addition to the Gray Rock Method, another mental model we can use to understand what the psychopath wants, is the Slot Machine Model. The bright colored “slots”, also known as the One-Armed-Bandit, are addictive to compulsive gamblers. They while away the hours parked in front of one or a bank of slot machines, inserting their coins and hoping for a pay day. The slots generally take your money for nothing. Mostly it just spins the numbers and fruit and makes noise but occasionally it spits out a little incentive, a few coins just to keep you hooked. After I learned that the psychopath’s true desire was solely for my emotions, I channeled the One-Armed-Bandit’s response mechanisms to entice him with emotional currency.
I use the term “psychopath ” to refer to a variety of disordered personalities whose interpersonal style is one of callous manipulation –in particular, those people who fall into the category of the Dark Triad, usually labeled narcissists, psychopaths and …Continue reading →
Years ago, I rented a car and drove over a mountain pass to pick up the psychopath and his minion from his job site. On the drive back home, I chose a different mountain pass because it was shorter. This 400-mile …Continue reading →
Actress Anna Gunn, the actress who plays Skyler White on Breaking Bad, writes OP-Ed for the NYTimes. The Breaking Bad Forums are filled with Skyler White haters and that hatred has even transferred to actress Anna Gunn, the actress who …Continue reading →