(verb) To mirror. The word mirror or mirroring, means to present oneself to another person, such that we seem to be similar, have similar behaviors and/or beliefs.
A psychopath mirrors those they envy. They feel envious of our very being so their intention is to become you and conversely, to leave you as empty as they are. Their goal is to switch roles with you and leave you, envying them. The psychopaths hides their rivalry from the targeted victims by presenting a mask which portrays them to be just like us in so many ways. The victim believes the psychopath’s mask is real, they believe that they’ve found a soul mate, someone who really understands them. For the psychopath, the game has begun.
By mirroring you, psychopaths appeal to your narcissism while paradoxically negating your uniqueness. At first, it isn’t apparent that this imitation is actually envy, not until they have deposed you and taken your place.
It is self-esteem that psychopaths envy. They bask in your admiration of their facade. When you esteem a psychopath, he knows it is your self-esteem being reflected in the mirror. He is just a facsimile of the original and his mirror lacks the depth to be an original.
The psychopath’s envy is the source of his motto: If I can’t have it, nobody can. Furthermore, he determines to make the victim feel the envy that he feels. He wants the victim to share his shame and become a facsimile of him. Again he uses a mirror to accomplish this, only this time he has you mirror him. The psychopath waits until he is sure that you hold him in high esteem – your own high esteem, because he seems to be just like you. Then he invites you to take a tiny step down the slippery slope of evil. It may be a tiny thing, like making fun of someone behind their back, someone who has never hurt you. Or he might tell you a story about someone who hurt him and it makes you feel vengeful and protective of the psychopath. This is only the beginning. He tests your boundaries, asking you to make exceptions for him because he’s special – this is an appeal to your narcissism because we all feel that we’re special and since he’s just like you…he must be special too. Before you know it, you’ve crossed boundaries you never would have imagined. You’ve behaved just like him and not like you normally would. That’s when the psychopath brings out his special mirror, the broken one with the sharp edges that cut. In this mirror he shows you all your flaws, he shows you how hideous you’ve become and he tells you that you were arrogant to believe you were ever anything more than that. With his mirrors, the psychopath has managed to insert his shame into you and he has taken your self-esteem.« Back to Glossary Index